*sigh* I was wondering when this awesome journey would have a negative effect and it has. After class yesterday I felt amazing and went to do a gig in Brooklyn at 8:00 pm. At around 11:00 I began to feel "weird". Light and sound sensitivity were extreme and I felt very warm in my armpits. I shook it off and tried to focus on the show. I finished at 12:00, wrapped up the stage, mingled then hopped in a cab and was home 1:10 am. I was winding down by cruising the internet for dogs in costumes (believe me it is an amazing way to relax and feel good!) and suddenly felt very tired.
I got into bed about 2:15 and as I tried to do some deep breathing exercises it happened. I had a full blown anxiety attack. Pulse racing, stomach bubbling, bowels gurgling, massive heat "bursts" in every part of my nervous system.
I think by doing Yoga I am unlocking all the crap that I've been "holding" for quite some time and the emotional night I'd had before with my loved one increased my anxiety levels without me even realizing it. I had a terrible nights sleep and woke up afraid that I would still be feeling bad. I began looking for things to complain about and told my husband "I only lost 3 lbs this week" and he replied "Some athletes train for years just to shave off .10 of a second from their best time". I immediately "poo-pooed" what he said because misery loves company and I wanted him to just say "wow that sucks." As I had my coffee (another vice I want to rid myself from) I began to REALLY think about what I was feeling.
I named this blog after a well known AA event "90 meetings in 90 days" so I am going to grab another one "progress not perfection". That's my mantra for this next week...
* in case anyone was wondering I am not a member of AA but have been surrounded my whole life by folks who are "working the program"
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