Today was the last Community donation class from Weds 3-4 with Amelie for awhile because Sonic is starting a new teaching semester. Today she said she wanted us to dedicate our practice to good byes. Saying good bye to both good and bad situations, people, agendas etc... this was difficult for me because I have a tendency to hold on to things, to work it for everything it it's got.
This is not always good.
It's like clamping your jaws down on a sore tooth, it relieves the pain but as soon as you ease up it's back and pulsing stronger than before.
Letting go is the answer. It sounds so easy. Let go.. wheeeeeeee. Um. I wish. I did however remain focused even though we were in a circle again. I realized today that when the teacher speaks they aren't always asking for a comment or opinion. No one ever says anything DURING practice. Except me. I don't think I should do that any more. I don't concentrate as much. It's not a social class. Or is it?
Anyway, it was an all women class and that can feel pretty wild. There is one woman who was in class today who is unhealthily thin. I've seen her before and try not to judge her because she probably abhors what I look like or secretly thinks that she looks like me... Amelie spoke a lot about Shiva who is the Goddess of destruction but also rebirth from fire essentially. We did a few salutations of a pose she made up... basically holding poses like the depictions that so many books have. It was pretty trippy and I loved it.
At the end of class I wrote down what I wanted to say goodbye to...
it was feeling like I have to be perfect NOW...
I can dream can't I?
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