Yikes. Today was a two in one day and I definitely feel it. My thighs say fuck off and my back probably will take a stand and refuse to be straight when I wake up tomorrow.
The first class from 11:45-1:30 was with the woman who usually teaches my favorite class on Sundays. I'll call her Pippi because she reminds me of Pippi Longstocking in the fact that she is cheerful, offers unusual subjects and notions of poses and also seems to be friends with everyone. The class was packed to the brim with a total of 35 people since a lot of other classes were cancelled. It is always very hard to focus with that many peoples energy in the room. I am very sensitive to others vibes already and when I'm in that environment it's tripled in awareness. I was able to do Crow pose or Bakasana for the first time without falling on my face! I made it up to the pose about 5 times and am hopeful I will be able to hold it for a few breathes next time.
Holding. This brings me to the next class from 4-5:30
The instructor was a man I'd never taken from before. I will call him Alvin. Because he looks like he dances for Ailey! Tall, dark and a booming voice which is both terrifying and sexy at the same time. He began the class with this gnarly booming chant that no one seemed to know. I was actually scared and thought I am in way over my head here... this class is for pros. I was right. It was called Hatha style. You hold the poses for a long ass time and it is insane! It really shows just how well you know your poses, alignment and breathe that's for sure.
I found myself totally unable to focus here as well. I had so much fear that he was judging my inability that I began to resent him. When he said "we just passed the 20 minute warmup and will be together another hour and a half really working" I wanted to cry. That seemed mean to me. A better way to put it is my perception of his statement was negative when in fact most of the people probably drooled thinking they were going to get beat to hell by this yogi who obviously knew what he was doing.
I am a mere amateur this I know. This affects my thought process and as Mr Horse used to say on Ren and Stimpy no sir, I don't like it one bit. I will take another class by him because I know I need to. I need to face my weird inner self and drive out the judgey, negative bullshit and just get down with my bad self.
Gosh, I worry about all the 2-class days. I really respect the commitment to your 90 days and think its very powerful tapas to do it...Perhaps sticking so rigidly to 90 classes in those 90 days doesn't allow you to embrace the full beauty of the yoga: that is, the letting go? There's yoga in taking a day off too...after all, the practice of yoga isn't about asana alone...
ReplyDeleteI agree. I know I could meditate on my own and have days off from Asana but I feel if I don't carry through with my goal of 90 actual classes in 90 days I won't be true to myself.
ReplyDeleteSomeone told me of a group meditative offering at the Yoga center on 54th street and I have been looking around for other studios that offers meditative and restorative classes here in NYC. This way I can practice every day AND give me creaky body a break.