I am still having some digestive issues and wanted to take it easy so I went to the DCC for 12-1 meditation. The weekend crowd is a bit different for sure. There were about 15 people and the guide was Tara, the tiiiiiiny dread locked woman who seems to be who teaches most. We did the alternate nostril breathing thing and my stomach started acting up again. I could feel it...
It's already weird enough when your in a room full of people and you have to go but in a completely quiet room with no lights and just a candle where everyone is completely still? Almost impossible. It wasn't that I was embarrassed at having to use the bathroom it was that I would be harshing a lot of folks relaxation by moving, crossing the room, opening the door, letting in light and repeating that process on my return. So, I just kept breathing and trying to hone in on my bowels. Really feeling where they were and trying to let it be without holding. Gross I know, but I had 30 more minutes... Of course it it had become painful I would have left and waited outside until class was over to retrieve my things.
Fortunately enough I made it till the end of class and to a bathroom. Honestly next to itching a scratch rarely is there such a feeling of relief. Men talk about this a lot. Why can't I express that same joy? I was there for a minute and felt bad that there was a woman outside waiting to use the toilet. I gave her a sheepish smile instead of declaring like John Witherspoon from the movie "Friday" when he exits waving a magazine saying: "woooo-ee I wouldn't go in there for awhile if I was you."
Another social stigma but one I don't mind keeping...
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