Days 75 - 81

So let's see if I can catch up here...

Monday the 19th did the 3-4 student class. Only an hour...

Tuesday the 20th I only did meditation at lunch.

Weds 21 I did the 5:45-7pm class which is definitely my favorite class. Stacy rocks!

Thursday 22 I didn't do any class.. I left for California to celebrate my Gma's 80th Bday

Fri the 23th no class

Sat the 24th no class Gma's Party in Calif

Sun 25th no class

Mon 26th no class travel 11-10pm

So, that puts me 5 classes behind in my 90 day program. I will do my best to catch up. I REALLY miss how I feel after class and am confident that I will catch up..

Day 72, 73, 74

What a crazy weekend! I had a show on Friday night and went to meditation at 6pm. This was the first time I went on a Friday night. It was pretty full despite the shitty weather and I was ready to relax before a long night ahead. It is really hard to force yourself to try and slow things down when you have a million things on your mind. A few instructors have said that's a true Yogi.. one who can just shut off in an instance. I am not one of those people. I want to be one but I'm not as of yet.

Saturday was a day of absolute relaxation. I had the intention of going to class at 11:45 but woke up at 11:30 and decided against it. I should have gone though. My feet were absolutely killing me from the night before teetering in 6 inch heels and I honestly couldn't imagine myself putting pressure on the balls of my feet in low lunge. Just thinking about it made me wince. But, I still should have gone. I am now one class behind and will be doing quite a bit of traveling and that always poses a challenge.

Today's class was needed. I had an extremely emotional morning with a family member and found myself physically ill and sore from tension and stress. I was not feeling anywhere near what I usually do and one of the aides picked up on it. She asked if everything was ok and it felt good to have genuine concern. It also felt good to be noticed as being vulnerable. So many people find it difficult to have empathy or sympathy for someone who is struggling. Myself included. I am making a vow today to be more aware of how people need to be talked to so that that good karma will come back to me.

Day 70, 71 and 72

What?? 3 entries in one?? What's going on??? I'll be honest I'm having a rough time coming home and writing about my yoga these days.

Tues- Did meditation at Deepak Chopra with a new girl. She was about 4'10 (I'm not kidding) with dreads down to her but. There was another dreadlocked gal who taught before but this new girl had obviously been growing hers for over a decade... No violent thoughts that day. I also stayed to help clean up the room for some reason. I felt like that little woman couldn't do it all by herself. I'm sure I was wrong...

Weds- Had an amazing class with The Warrior instructor. She has by far given me the most in depth attention and answers all of my questions. She talked in depth about the Jalandhara Bandhas. This simultaneously keeps keening, rooting and engaging the systemic plethora of processes that constitute bodymind and with diligence resolving them in discipline and accord. Uh yea.. it means breathe holding and muscle manipulation basically. She was excellent at explaining it and also very hands on which I love. She is to me the most genuine non ego person who teaches. Earth Mama is pretty cool too. Anna is pretty cold but maybe she's just a private person...

Thurs- Crazyyy day for me and I only did the lunchtime hour flow class. It is really weird to do it in such a small time. As much as I look forward to laying in Savassana my body and mind are used to the 90 minutes it takes to truly get through it all. I'm interested in the math of yoga. It seems like there are a set amount of "reps" that one does of each pose. I will have to be sure to check and see what's up with that. I have a pretty full weekend ahead of me and am going to keep saying to myself ...

"This time you set aside is for you. For you to be healthier, to clear your mind and allow your body the attention it deserves."

Day 68 and 69

Weekend and Holiday Yoga feels different for some reason. The Sunday meditation I took was awesome enough but I couldn't shake feeling tired the rest of the day. It just seemed like I needed to be lazy or something. I don't believe it though. I need to move! I need to stretch , I need to push myself. I want so badly to crave a workout. I don't. Maybe I'm just not that type of person? Maybe I'm a lazy ass by nature. Maybe it's my size?

Tonight's Asana class I also felt lazy. My mind wasn't focusing in on what I was doing or enjoying the discovery of space and flexibility within myself. I kept thinking about Savasana. I also have noted that since it's cold outside I feel different inside. I absolutely can't stand walking in after a sweaty ass long class that just happened (like tonight) it is so gross to smell and inhale everyone's expelled toxins and sweat. I avoided the thick black mat (I've yet to buy my own) because they were basically dripping and the floor was disgustingly slick. Will I get over this??

When we made it to Savasana I got cold. The sweat on my body and the fan that provided so much comfort in the summer now made me cold when the air hit my skin. I put my blanket across myself and then suddenly remembered the class I took Friday where a man was using his blanket as a sweat towel.. GROSS!! I wanted to be the Yoga police but for some reason didn't say anything.

It's getting harder these days in the cold, when my joints ache even more and temperature drops...

Day 66 and 67

I am now doing two entries at a time. My love of rushing home to enter my class experience is waning... I took my favorite class last night at Sonic; Center the instructor was one I hadn't had yet and she was awesome. I hated the fact that the class was 15 minutes behind schedule and found myself very antsy. I tried my best to remain mellow but it was hard. I didn't want to be in class until 9:30! Of course I stayed and took the whole class and was glad I did.

Today I went to do meditation at the Deepak Chopra center. Today was the smallest class I'd ever been in by far. There were only 6 people. Someone was snoring the whole time which made it difficult for me to concentrate. I have found my mind wandering to very violent thoughts when I take meditation class there. I can't figure it out. What does that mean????

I'm rounding out the final part of my yogic project and can't help but wonder what my practice will be like after the project is over...

Day 64 and 65 Whirlwind

I found myself being pulled in many different directions these past two days. Tues was full of appts but I was able to get to a meditation class. The first ones of the week are always less crowded and I met a woman named Mary who said she loved my bicycle :-) That's always nice to hear.

Today was crazy as well and I went to go to the Donation class at 3-4 but it was cancelled. I HAVE TO REMEMBER TO SWITCH MY CALENDAR TO THEIR TEACHING SCHEDULE!!! Now I am behind. I don't like to go more than two days between Asana practice because I feel creaky and achey. I have a rehearsal tonight right in the middle of the last class offered. I am looking forward to taking class tomorrow.

Day 63 My tree sways a bit...

So far October is proving to be a month of strength and health awareness. Today I decided to go to the Donation Flow class (one of the few still being offered since Sonic is on their teacher/student schedule) and the acrobatic lady was teaching. I swear she's a person who could actually "fly from a trapeze with the greatest of ease." When she says "step, jump or float up to top of your mat" she really does float! Today in tree pose I was able to hold my leg on my calf instead of my ankles while I looked up at my "branches."

I did better today physically and focus wise. I think weekdays with less people fit me best as far as Asana goes. My insides stayed put. The class was only an hour, moving pretty quickly and emphasizing breathing techniques. I catch myself holding sometimes and that honestly defeats the work. It's strange to have less time. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'll have to take a few more and reevaluate later.

Fall is definitely approaching and I wonder how different things will feel as the temperature drops. In a class a few days ago Pippi said fall brings frenetic energy with the wind and leaves swirling. Is there a bustle in my hedgerow?